THE BOLAN CHRONICLES: Reading #25

25. Approximate Minutes Reading (AMR): 4

Introduction to Characters

THE BOLAN CHRONICLES

Chapter 3

A House

**Shame**

Sunlight made its way through the shades and onto the bed. Jake rolled over and opened his eyes. Donna wasn't there. He lay there quietly, expecting to hear the sound of clanging dishes coming from the kitchen, or of the baby crying. But he heard nothing. He thought about what he wished was a bad dream rather than the actual events of the previous night, and though he couldn't imagine Donna leaving him for it, he also knew that it was altogether plausible. After all, she did have her mother.

He felt like a fool. Actions of the previous day and night had put him in a position of having to apologize, something he dreaded. To Jake, apologizing was akin to driving a stake into one's own heart. But since his actions were hardly excusable, he would do it. The pain from the stake would diminish.

He forced himself out of bed and used the bathroom then walked into the baby's room. He reached over and carefully placed his hand on Dean's back. Jake looked at his face and noticed that he was moving his mouth. He pulled his hand away and looked down at the floor and sighed. The shame of the previous night revisited him.

Donna had been sitting in the living room for more than three hours. She'd woken up at just past six and had quietly slipped out of bed. When she'd seen Jake still lying on the floor, she had helped him up and into bed then she'd brewed a cup of coffee and had come back to the couch to think. 

When Jake saw her on the couch, he turned to go back to their room. Without looking up, she said, "Good morning."

Jake stopped. He rubbed his eyes and replied, "Hi," Then he turned back and stood in front of her. "I guess I have some apologizing to do."

Donna looked down.

Jake continued, "I'm not a drunk, Donna. I think you know that, right?"

Donna nodded, but she thought, how can I know?

"Anyway, Sorry 'bout last night. I don't know what happened in Dean's room, but it was an accident, and I feel horrible about it." Then he turned to walk away, and as he did, he said, "I hope you'll forgive me for it."

"Oh, Jake!" And Donna got up and ran to him. They held each other tightly, and Donna cried and told him how terrified she was and that she didn't blame him, but that she was scared and didn't want that ever to happen again.

Jake told her that it wouldn't. That it was a stupid combination of mistakes and that he didn't know what overcame him but that he was done with it. And he held Donna tightly and assured her that he was her protection and her support, and he told her how much he loved her and about how lucky he felt to be married to her and to have little Dean.

Donna melted in his arms. She absorbed everything that he said. She loved him so much, and she wanted all of the family things that he wanted. She looked up at him and kissed him. He smiled at her. Then Donna looked toward the baby's room and said, "I think we have time, Jake, and it's been a few weeks.” Jake looked surprised, so Donna breathed heavily and said, “Please, Jake. I just want to do it now. I want you now.”

They made love that late morning as the sun continued its path across their bed and into the hallway. Jake thought that his wife deserved to believe in a marriage that would work and a happy family, and so he told her all of the things that he knew she loved to hear, and he touched her in the ways that he knew she loved to be touched, and she gave herself to her husband without reservation, and he rediscovered the kind of unbridled passion that had drawn him to that bright-eyed, small-chinned beauty in high school. And Jake smiled at his luck. And he smiled at his clever devices. 

And Donna smiled at her luck. And she smiled at her belief in a happy life ahead.