THE BOLAN CHRONICLES: Reading #8

8. Approximate Minutes Reading (AMR): 9

Introduction to Characters:
Donna's Mother and Father

THE BOLAN CHRONICLES

Chapter 2

Dean

**The Announcement**

Donna had skipped her period in July, and when the doctor advised she and her mother to prepare for a baby sometime in late March, Donna's mother began to cry. Donna reached over and grabbed her hand to comfort her.

Her mother looked up and said, "What are we supposed to tell your father?"

Donna was more concerned about what she was going to tell Jake than she was about her father. "Oh, I don't know, but in time he'll get used to the idea." Then she said, "I suppose we don't have any control over Dad, but you and I can make this as positive as we choose, right Mom?"

Her mother looked up at her and wiped her eyes dry then she leaned over and hugged her. She held her tightly for a short time then pulled away and said, "Yes, Donna, I suppose we can do that."

The drive home was a quiet one. Donna stared out the passenger-side window and thought about the news that she had just been given, then she thought about her new future and what it might be like to be a mother and what life for she and Jake might now be like. The thought that Jake did have the choice to leave her crossed her mind, but knowing how in love he was with her abated her fears, and she smiled when she pictured Jake on the floor in their imaginary apartment, playing with their son or daughter. She was sure that he would be a great father.  

And the thought of her own father occupied her mind for a short time. Her father, she thought, would certainly be upset at the news, and he would rant for an hour, and then he would start offering all kinds of advice, mostly about how Jake would be smart to get a second job, and how important it would be that Donna find some means for income, something that wouldn't take her away from the baby all day. The search for an apartment would certainly be at the top of his list. A strict budget must be followed since there were three mouths to feed and diapers to buy and doctor bills to pay and toys to purchase and on and on he would go. And though he would blurt all of this wise advice, he would do little, if anything at all, to help them out.

She once dreamed that she had a daughter who was born with a defect, and Donna loved her so much that over time the defect went away, and the doctors and her family and her friends all wondered how such a thing could happen. And Donna tried to tell them that her love was the remedy, that her little girl absorbed her undying and overwhelming love and that it reversed whatever had caused the defect.  

When she recalled the dream, it warmed her to think that she was really going to have a baby and that she was actually going to be given the opportunity to love someone this much and to care for someone who depended completely upon her for life. She thought about breast-feeding her baby and how wonderfully comforting that must be, and she thought about the little joys that would come along; potty training, playing in the yard, watching Sesame Street together, going on vacations, reading aloud every day.  

When they pulled into their driveway, Donna's mother turned the engine off and pulled the key out of the ignition and sat motionless.  

"You okay, Mom?"

Her mother looked down. "I don't know if what I am going to say to you should be said now, and I certainly didn't plan on telling you what I’m going to tell you this early,” She grabbed a tissue, “Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any."

"What is it, Mom?"

"You remember when you asked me about brothers and sisters and why you didn't have any?"

"Yes, I remember. You told me that you and dad decided that you wanted to give all of your attention to me; that I was so special that you wanted to make sure to do things for me that would be impossible if we had a bigger family."

When her mother started to cry, Donna asked, "Mom, please! What is it?"

She forced herself to look at her daughter, "You were conceived before we were married, Donna," The crying turned to sobbing. "There have been a few times when I almost told you, but I just didn't know if it was better to wait or never say anything, but now that this has happened, it just seemed best."

Donna sat motionless, staring out the window at nothing in particular. "Mom, can we just sit here for a few minutes?"

"Of course we can."

Donna began to process what her mother had told her, and she had questions, but she thought there was only one that her mother could answer directly. It wouldn't require a philosophical response. It would only require honesty.

"Mom, what does my illegitimacy have to do with being an only child? Was it true that you just wanted to give me all of the attention?"

Her mom reached for another tissue and said, "Donna, that's the part that's hard. I don't know how to tell you without damaging our family."

"Tell me what?"

"Okay, when your father found out that I was pregnant, he was livid.” She took a deep breath, briefly looked at Donna then looked down. “He wanted me to abort you, Donna."

Donna was stunned.

Donna's mom continued, "In 1960, abortion wasn't legal, but your dad said that he knew about a group called 'Jane' out of Chicago. They had an abortion service that was sort of underground."

"Underground?"

"By that I mean that they did it secretively. It was illegal, so they had to do it that way."

Donna asked, "Why didn't you do it?"

"After your father looked further into it, he discovered that it was only a concept--that it hadn't materialized. I'm not positive, but I think that ultimately, they did get it off the ground."

She began to cry again, but she managed to say, "And I can't tell you how relieved I was when your father changed his mind, but I had to agree to never having another child, and he forced me to have a procedure that sterilized me for the rest of my life."

"Tubal sterilization." Donna said.

"Yes, that's it."

Donna shook her head. 

"Donna, please don't be angry with your father. He was only acting out of fear and uncertainty, and he..."

"No, Mom. He acted out of pure selfishness. It was pure god-damned selfishness."

Donna threw the car door open. She walked down the sidewalk. Her mother hurried out of the car and caught Donna by the arm. "Donna! Please!"

Donna stopped abruptly and said, "Mom, you have been making excuses for Dad for a long, long time, and don't think that I don't understand that. I've never seen dad hit you, but I've watched him beat you up with his words so many times!" Donna began to sob, "Why do you let him, Mom? Why do you let him do that to you?” Then she paused to wipe her eyes and nose. When her mom offered a tissue, Donna refused.  “And why do you make me hear him do it? I sit in my room and I'm scared, and sometimes I cry, and sometimes I'm angry, and sometimes I don't have any feelings at all, but I'm always alone...always!"

Donna crossed her arms and turned to face the road. "Mom, I just wanted you to come in and cry with me. I wanted you to come in and tell me how scared you were and how confused you were and how much you hoped that things would change, but you never did anything. You acted like nothing was wrong! But everything was wrong, Mom, and if there is one thing I know about this baby, it's that he or she will NOT live through what I've lived through!"

Her mom covered her face and cried, "Donna, I'm sorry." 

"I know, Mom, but now I just have to move on. I have to make a good life for this baby, and I have someone who is going to help me do that."

"And I'll be there, Donna. I'll be there for you."

Donna turned and hugged her mom briefly then walked toward the house. 

She opened the front door and walked through the living room, past her father. He was sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. She didn’t acknowledge him. 

Donna's mom followed. After the cold shoulder from Donna, he sensed trouble, and when his wife attempted to greet him with a casual hello, he stopped her.

"What is going on here?"

"Nothing is going on here.” She said coldly. “Just read your paper."

Donna's father tossed the paper on the coffee table and said, "I think that someone ought to tell me what is going on here!

Donna's mother walked back into the living room and straight to her husband. She leaned into him and said, "There is a repeat of things of the past, Mr. Keller, and you'd better get used to it, and you'd better not try to have everything your damned way!"

He paused and stared at her. "What the hell is going on here?"

“Never—you—mind, Mr. Man.” She replied, and she stood there for a moment, eyes locked on his. Then she turned and quickly walked to Donna's room and closed the door behind her. She found Donna, face down on her bed. She reached out and put her arm over her. "Donna, it's time that I stood up for you. Don't worry about your father. I will insist that he leave you alone."

Donna turned over and looked into her mother's eyes. Then she got out of bed and walked back into the living room. She sat down on the easy chair across from her father.

"Dad, I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant, and I'm going to have this baby, so don't try to convince me otherwise."

Mr. Keller sat wide-eyed. Shocked. 

Donna stood, "Jake and I are going to make this happen. We're going to make a family, and we're going to be happy."

Mr. Keller said, "Well, hell, it seems as if you've already made a family, Donna. And as far as being happy is concerned, that is going to be a difficult task."

Donna looked hard into his eyes and asked, "And why is that?"

He replied, "Illegitimate children come back to haunt their parents, that's why."  He leaned forward and said, "Donna, I've seen it time and time again."

Donna began to cry, and Mrs. Keller ran into the living room and wrapped her arms around her and lowered her to the couch. Then she stared at her husband, and with as much rebuke as she could muster, she said, “Don’t you say another god-damned word.” 

For several days, neither Donna nor her father nor her mother spoke. But over time, things returned to the way they had always been. Donna's mom retreated to her usual quiet defense of her husband, and Donna's dad unearthed his old advice-giving ways.    

Donna recognized the old family dynamic, and she retreated and unearthed, too.  She retreated to the new love of her life, and she unearthed her surrender to the only possible solution that she could see. And his name was Jake Bolan.